Not looking good

Had an ultrasound today, nothing to be seen but tech assured me that it's early and not to be disheartened. Then the nurse from my docs office called to ask me to come in tomorrow for another blood test - hmm, not good I thought so I asked why.

Well, she said, your hcg level was only 79 which is low.

Oh right sez I, would have been good to know this on Tuesday when the doc called to tell me the test was positive.

I've googled my heart out and yes smoked 2 cigarettes, because I've been here before, the every 2nd day level tests hoping to see the numbers double only to have it all crap out in the end.

So I'm not feeling too good, in fact I'm feeling shite, I've had a sense of doom about this from the beginning but I've been convincing myself that it's just me being a nervous nelly.

Maybe it is, at this stage all that is left is hope.

If you're reading, send me some good vibes because I think I will lose my fucking mind if I have another miscarriage. It will make this pregnancy #4 with only 1 child to show for my troubles.

Oh well, have to break the news to the big man, he doesn't even know I went for a scan.