Aw

Am tired, cranky, and uncomfortable today so please enjoy this while I sulk in a corner.

Snuggley otters

Thanks to Just a little guy for that lovlieness

Hello folks

Lots of people visiting, not sure why or where you're coming from but you're welcome, hope you like poo.

Hard Core sitting

Found this on a blog browsing escapade, can't remember which blog led me to it - if it's yours, please let me know and I'll link to you.

Anyway check this shit out - mad!

aaron_clip02.wmv (video/x-ms-wmv Object)

Absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy at all and not even a small tiny whine from me today, unbelievable!

Spring has sprung

Today is one of those days when you know why you live in New England, it's just beautiful outside, the magnolias are blooming, birds singing, there's a slight breeze but the sun is shining, just lovely.

Makes up for the SHITE weather we had last week when it rained for about 4 days.

I'm surprisingly cheery about the lovely spring that has sprung, surprising because I feel like shite, my head hurts, my sinuses are clogged, the yeast infection* has come back and yesterday I almost fainted.

Hmm....I'm not so sure I should have passed the glucose test. The almost fainting episode struck me as low blood sugar, the nausea, fatigue and desperate thirst also strike me as GD symptoms.

Or maybe - and please don't everyone yell at me at once - I'm anemic? I haven't been taking my pre-natal vitamins, those things plug me up like nobody's business so I haven't taken them in months, I know it's bad.

Anyway, I feel like crap, am cranky, headachy, moaney, pissy, big, huge, pregnant lady but all I can think about is spring and flowers and lovely weather, weird as fuck this pregnancy lark.

* this is way tmi but...em...the yeast infection is kinda like em...up in my bum rather than around the vagina - anyone any ideas what the fuck is going on?

Sleep, poo (not mine for a change), pregnancy and Larry

I wrote a post in my head last night while I tossed and turned and hefted Larry* around the place trying to get comfortable. The howling wind and rain didn't help, nor did the fact that the little man stayed in his own bed all night. Yes I know I have begged the gods for him to do just that but he does it so rarely that when he does I think there's something wrong and lie awake all night listening to the fucking monitor to hear him breathe!

Anyway I forgot the post, I've poked and prodded my brain all morning to try to remember what I wanted to tell you and I haven't the slightest idea, not one, not even a clue.

I fucking hate that.

So here are some snippets instead:

Little man poo'd on the floor this weekend, nice! I took his nappy off and couldn't get my fat arse in gear to put a clean one on so decided to let the air at his bum for a while, poor childeen wrapped up in damp fabric/paper all the time. I heard him grunt and saw him make that face just a nanosecond too late, Moved my fat arse right quick that time. Had to give him a bath and clean the floor - serves me right for being a lazy git.

Had to go to the doc and get nuclear power cream/suppositories for the itchy fanny - yum! Seems to have done the job though and I might even have a shag one of these days now that I'm all better.

Had another scan last week to see the face, all well, still the same gender, had her check to make sure, still can't tell you. But I can tell you that my sister-in-law is also pregnant and having a girl - yahoo! You hear about these things, people adopting and then finding themselves preggers from plain ol sex even though every ART trick in the book didn't work - you never expect it to happen to somone you actually know, but it did and I'm thrilled and kind of laughing at them too going from 0 kids to 2 in 9 months, ha ha, that'll learn 'em.

* Larry is my body pillow, a cool $10 in Sears, served me very well last time and is doing his job this time too. Why is he called Larry? I have no idea, I came to be done night and big man had him propped up on my side with eyes and a mouth drawn in, he christened him Larry and it stuck.

James Lipton, what a FREAK!

I'm stealing from random mommy who is stealing from someone else...which makes it right.

That complete weirdo freak James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio, he creeps me out, he looks like he wants to lick dirty parts of the actor he's interviewing. I'm guessing he's a failed actor himself. Anyway these are the questions he asks famous peeps so even though I'm not as famous as random mommy I'm answering them too

What is your favorite word? Fuck, no competition there, by far my favourite and most used word.
What is your least favorite word? You, as in 'you did' or 'you didn't' or 'will you' or 'can you' or just fuck off with the accusations and demands eh? Oh - sorry some not so hidden anger there :c)
What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)? Compassion.
What turns you off? Snarky arrogance.
What is your favorite curse word? Fuck again but to diversify a little, I like Bollix a lot - eh sounds rude, but you know what I mean, when you call someone a bollix, you really mean it, at least I do.
What sound or noise do you love? Laughter.
What sound or noise do you hate? Whining.
What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? Surgeon.
What profession would you not like to attempt? Banking.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I know you didn't believe it, but here I am and you can come in, c'mon there's your Dad over there waiting for you.

Nice one random mommy. I know this isn't a meme as such but I'm tagging Emma anyway 'cos she likes these things. Go Emma!

F@nny

The Irish sense of the word not the innocent US one.

Mine is burning and itching and genereally annoying me.

Any ideas?

Yes I know I shoudl go to the docs and put the oul feet up in the stirrups but I'm swamped at work and have a doc appt. on Wednesday anyway. Anyone any ideas in the meantime.

It's a damn shame 'cos I'm actually feeling pretty horny for the 1st time in months.

PS: If you can't figure out what an Irish f@nny is, the fact that I've used a @ instead of an a should give you a clue - no? Ooh interesting, it wouldn't let me put an @ in the label so the real word is there for all to see - I'm shamed!

Poo, glorious poo

Seems like poo is on everyone's mind these days, I've been following blog links, as you do, and these posts really spoke to me.

I clearly remember the horror of my 1st post c-section poo. I sobbed, screamed and generally cursed myself for being afraid to take stool softeners and laxatives in case they affected the baby via my breastmilk! Rookie Mum or wha? It was the only time I used the Lamaze breathing I learned in childbirth classes.

I still produce a poo to be proud of every few days, it hurts, it's degrading but it's much better than missy connie stee pation's visits. (I'm afraid to type the real word in case she comes back to visit again)

Enjoy the poo stories!

Passed!

Unfuckingbelieveable, I passed the 1 hour glucose test!

I'm in shock.

I'm also kind of weirded out 'cos I got me some spectacles. Apparently I have bad eyesight and the pregnancy has fuck all to do with it. I've been compensating. Thing is, I've never worn specs and didn't realise that they really fuck with your depth perception, I feel like I'm in a fun house, all my angles are off, it's like free LSD without the metallic taste and thinking my jaw is going to flip open like the guy in that toothbrush ad.

On another note and another update I suppose, my gum has finally reattached itself to the tooth. Only took 3+ weeks.

Now I have strep throat, nasty cough and acne, combined with my new specs, I am a sex goddess!