Ready, I'm ready...

I'm ready little one, whenever you feel like making an appearance, I hate to say it but my body has kind of had enough of hosting you.

There's no room anymore, you know that already, I can feel you rumbling around shifting bits of your body trying to get comfy, I sympathise 'cos I'm doing the same and I've kind of realised that it can't be done now. Comfort is beyond us now babe.

I have stretch marks, big ugly purple claw marks on my belly, never had any with little man, well I had one but that's 'cos I left my belly button ring in too long and the hole kind of stretched so I got one there. This time and only in the past week, my belly looks like a tiger had at it. My belly button looks like it might pop too, that didn't happen last time. More reminders that this is not little man, this baby is different. I'm getting nervous now, just how different will this baby be?

A colleague had her baby 4 weeks ago at 37 weeks, he won't latch so she's pumping for him - little man was a great feeder, never had a physical problem breastfeeding, emotional, yes a bit but I got over that. Will this baby be the same? Will I struggle to feed him/her properly? Will s/he be colicky? Little man was a good baby, he had his moments, for a few weeks he cried from 11-1 every night. I've been assuming it will be easier with baby #2 but maybe it won't. Maybe we were spoiled with little man and now we're going to pay the piper.

I'm anxious and nervous and oh so very very big and uncomfortable. I can't sleep, can't sit comfortably anywhere except propped on the couch with 5, 000 cushions around me or on the fabulous lilac birth ball that big man surprised me with last week.*

I'm afraid this baby will be bigger than little man was (8lbs 10oz) and I won't be able to push him/her out. I'm afraid of the birth, afraid of life with a newborn and a 2 1/2 yr old, of sleep deprivation, of possible conflict and crankiness in the house ';cos we're all exhausted and adjusting to our new dynamic. Afraid that I have nothing ready, that I'm not finished up at work and not getting anything done, that they'll be majorly pissed off with me when I'm gone. That I'll leave something undone and it will slip through a crack and cause havoc.

I have no bag packed for the hospital, I should do that one of these days.

I scheduled an acupuncture session for next Tuesday and a massage for this Friday, I'll be 37 weeks so officially full term. I know the baby won't come until s/he's ready but a little nudge in the right direction is no harm - is it?

Did I mention that I have 3 sister in laws due soon as well? My brothers wife is due in September, big man has 2 brothers whose wives are/were due within 2 weeks of me. One of them had her baby yesterday, a little boy, popped out in 45 minutes her 3rd child. Maybe that's why I'm fretting a little, now that she has gone, it's getting more real every day, my turn soon.

Little man gets 4 new cousins this year, 2 already born and 2 more to come.

*I was so very touched, big man's not one for romantic gestures, the fact that he googled it and ordered it and had it delivered almost had me in tears. I suppose you'd have to have experience of an Irish man to truly appreciate the consideration and reaction.

Gestational Diabetes - a myth?

We went to the first of 2 VBAC classes this weekend.

I was a bit miffed because the instructor didn't really tell me anything I hadn't already read or learned and she couldn't answer any questions about hospital policy. She deflected all of those saying "you should ask your midwife" I have probably 10-15 minutes with my midwife every 2 weeks, I don't have the brain power to think of these questions when I'm sitting there trying not fall off the stupid table. The point of the class - or so I thought - was to have those questions answered, that's why I chose the one affiliated with the hospital fer fuxake! Yes I will call the hospital and tell them what I think.

In the instructors favour, she herself had a VBAC, kept the class size small and took time to talk to each one of us.

Anyway gripes aside, the class was useful for big man, got him thinking and concentrating on the impending arrival for 3 straight hours. We dropped little man off with his friend for a playdate, his first ever, so we had lunch afterwards and it was nice to just talk and connect with each other.

The instructor scared me a little by talking about the risks associated with induction and VBAC, so I've been googling. There's no guarantee I will be induced but my blood sugar levels are all over the place and it looks likely I will be on insulin by next week which does increase my chances of induction. Pitocin and VBAC is not a good mix, you're heavily monitored and probably in bed so the intervention train gets rolling.

One interesting article I found today is this one by Henci Goer which starts:

Gestational Diabetes: The Emperor Has No Clothes
by Henci Goer

Good medicine demands that diagnosis and treatment of any disease fulfill four criteria:

• The condition has to pose a health risk;
• Diagnosis must accurately distinguish between those who have the disease and those who don't;
• Treatment should be effective; and
• The benefits of diagnosis and treatment should outweigh the risks.

An entire medical industry has grown up around diagnosing and treating gestational diabetes (GD) in the belief that doing so prevents perinatal deaths, congenital anomalies, neonatal complications, macrosomic babies, and because of fetal macrosomia, birth injuries and excessive cesarean rates. However, diagnosis and treatment of gestational diabetes don't fulfill any of the above criteria.

Hmm...

It's a good read, if you've been diagnosed with GD you should probably print it out and highlight the relevant parts to bring to the discussion with your doc.

I am researching alternatives to pitocin for induction. Kendra beat me to the punch, she's a few weeks ahead of me so got here a while back.

I'm thinking a doula is a good plan so am off on the hunt for one that will fit in my budget of $0.

Your induction methods are welcome, medical and anecdotal, I'll give anything a go rather than be strapped to a bed with EFMs blood pressure cuffs, IVs etc... please comment....thanks!

Food for thought

How your mouse works

How your mouse works - wait for this one to load and then move your mouse, it's worth it.

Thanks to Linkateria.

Had a doc appt today, am measuring spot on baby wise. Gained 7lbs in the last month though, not feeling too good about that considering "they" say you gain 1lb a week from here on in. I know I told myself I wouldn't stress about weight but I'm feeling big and unattractive and cumbersome, knowing that I'm the weight I am doesn't help that.

Still though, healthy baby is the goal, as long as I'm eating properly and sensibly I shouldn't worry too much. I think the sneaky treats will have to stop though.

Have moved to appts. every 2 weeks now, feels like it's all happening too fast, have the GD test again in 2 wks, if this all goes belly up and I'm on insulin again I'm going to be pissed off.

Must book VBAC class soon. Anyone reading had a VBAC?

PSD or is it SPD

Whatever it is, it HURTS. You know that pain that you get in pregnancy where it feels like someone kicked you in the crotch? Or you fell off your bike onto the crossbar? Or in younger freer days, you had a night of non stop shagging?

Well I have that, all the time.

I know it's the ligament stretching and all that blah de blah, I knwo my posture can affect it, I know that it goes with the territory but I didn't expect it so soon, I'm only 25 weeks fer fuxake.

Oh well thats the whine out of the way, on to other things.

My sister had her 1st baby on Tuesday, aw sweet, my baby sister had a baby, aw, he weighed 10lbs 11.5oz!!!!!! Yes you read that correctly, the child is half reared, he looks like a 2 month old. For the record, my sis is 5'2" on a good day and about 130lbs pre-pregnancy, she's a little 'un. She had a brutal labour, they tried forceps and then vacuum and the poor pet ended up with a c-section in the end anyway. Phew I say, fucking phew. I will not enter into that competition, he was born the same day as another nephew 2 years earlier who weighed in at 10lbs 5oz... fuck that for a game of soldiers... I don't want to win the who had the biggest baby competition among my sisters.

Congrats to sis though, in a fucked up way I'm proud she had such a big baby like a man and his willy kind of thing, oh yeah we breed 'em BIG.

The big scan

Had the BIG scan yesterday, the one where you can find out the baby's gender and...













I can't tell you!

Ha ha, sorry, we were still (arguing) discussing our options when the time came so we decided that I would find out and Big man and little man would leave the room. So I know but they don't and I can't very well tell the internet if they don't know so sorry.

I'm glad I know but it's going to be difficult to keep it to myself for another 20+ weeks!

Baby is fine, big - no surprise there - measuring a week ahead as am I so due date is moved forward to August 7th. Placenta is in front which is why I haven't been feeling a whole lot of movement, I was a bit worried about that.

Had a midwife appointment afterwards, met a new midwife - well new to me - who I adored, she was fab, just how you want a midwife to be, big, friendly, competent, capable and no nonsense. She said the GD may not be a problem, I have to do the yummy sugar drink thing next week. And best of all she reiterated that I am an excellent candidate for a VBAC - yahooey!

Took little man to the dentist for his 1st ever appointment, was cute, no work done or anything, just a meet and greet kind of thing, he got a sticker.

And then little man and I went home and slept for the afternoon, I was wrecked, the scan wiped me out, took all of the tension away, I didn't realise how tense I was until I let it go, I had myself convinced there was something wrong with this baby - phew.

Pregnancy Horror Stories

Suburban Turmoil: VOTE HERE!

Some are funny - well not funny ha ha but it's the way they tell 'em y'know?

Some are downright terrifying so be warned.

I'm not sure I ever did a pregnancy/birth story for little man, it was pretty shitty, I might do it on here one of these days.

Belly is fucking huge today, seriously ridiculously massive, it's all fat, baby is just about 4" long and 3oz or so, I look like I'm 6 months pregnant - ack!

Oh well...

Moonrising (The Birth)

Oh wow - what an amazing birth story - read and weep.

L'eggs Up And Laughing: Moonrising (The Birth)