So...on Friday Aug 3rd I went for a scheduled Non Stress Test at my docs office. I was feeling decidedly unstressed having finished work just the day before, yippee, roll on some downtime and preparations for baby sez I.
NST was a bit blah, the baby wasn't doing the 15 point heart accelerations they wanted to see despite moving like a demon. My cervix was high and just a fingertip - damn - so we chatted a bit about possibly scheduling a c-section for late next week. I figured, meh, I'll chat away with you but when I get home I'll do my own research and see what my plan is. She asked me to go to the hospital for more monitoring and a biophysical profile so off I went. Called big man on the way and mentioned that there was a slight small possibility that baby might be coming today but not to worry about it, my plan was to go to the hospital then go to my chiropractor do some shopping and head home for a nap.
At the hospital, they hooked me up - contractions every 10 minutes, yay me - baby still just kind of hanging out, heart merrily thumping away but no accelerations. Scan showed baby was practising breathing, had good tone, scored 8 out of 8 and had FLIPPED - what - hang on - excuse me - baby is breech? How the hell did that happen?
Back upstairs for more monitoring, still not too freaked out, cancelled my chiro appointment and called big man again saying half jokingly - you might want to pack a small bag for little man just in case y'know and maybe leave out food and water for the cats and the dog, just in case ha ha you know? Called the brother - again just in case ha ha. And then...dum dum dum...the obstectrician came in...dum dum dum...
All along I had been chatting to my midwife, a big advocate for VBAC, she had alluded to a small concern that the baby wasn't responding, but also didn't hide the fact that the EFM is notoriously unreliable and all should be well. When the OB walked in to the room at about 4:30 with my midwife, I knew I was in trouble, or more accurately baby was in trouble.
The OB was refreshingly frank, they didn't know what, if anything, was wrong with the baby, but they did know that the baby wasn't responding as s/he should and given that I had been moinitored for about 6 hours that day and there was still no change other than the baby flipping poisition it seemed obvious that the baby wasn't happy. I was not a good candidiate for induction due to a high tight cervix and a BREECH baby - tell me again how the hell a 38 week baby flips? - and that even though the scan didn't show any problems they would really like me to have the baby today.
No more ha ha has from I'll tell you!
I battered them with questions, you would have been proud of me, it's like I channeled all of the books and blogs I read over the past 9 months. The most important questions to me, was the baby going to be ok? What was wrong with his or her heart? What would the possible outcome be if we waited another day/week? They answered all of my questions honestly and straught up, I felt like I was in good hands and these people were not asking me to submit to another c-section for any other reason than they felt it was the best thing for the baby. That fulfilled my criteria so decision made and panic stations set in.
Big man arrived with little man in tow, brother arrived to bring little man home for a sleepover. I was bumped from the earlier slot so had time to panic, laugh, let reality set in and chat to every fecking nurse in the hospital who had ever even heard of Ireland on the map! Ah no, it was lovely, I was like a celebrity, I met Sheilas and Maureens and Peggys and Colleens, seemed like every woman there was "Irish" to some extent and they all came by to say hello and laugh about the fact that I had finished work just yesterday and only came in for an NST with the clothes on my back and my handbag. Hospital bag? Yep, had planned to pack that at some stage, never got around to it.
Called my Mammy too, started crying when I was talking to her 'cos that's what you do, realied then how scared I was, not for me, but that the poor babw wouldn't be ready, would need respiratory help, would have something wrong - oh god the possibilities were endless and all more frightening than the last.
Went in to surgery at about 7:30, had a chat with the anesthesiologist before and told her how I freaked out last time, she assured me that it wouldn't happen again, she'd make sure of it.
She put the spinal in - fuck me did that hurt! - women were doing all sorts of stuff, draping sheets, counting things, chatting, laughing, it was a party I tell you! My midwife stayed right beside me holding my hand, bless her heart. The drugs started to kick in and I didn't like it one bit, I couldn't feel myself breathing, I felt nauseous, freaked out and remembered why I was crap at taking drugs back when as well, I just have no tolerance for the good stuff. The anesthesiologist was right there, telling me how it was working, what it was doing and talking me down from my wooziness. After 10 minuntes or so I relaxed and started to enjoy it. I couldn't feel anything from my waist down except gooey warmth and it was kind of nice.
Big man came in, man does he ever look sexy in scrubs. He was busy flirting with the women so I had to gently remind him to hold my hand and pay attention to me. They asked him did he want to see the baby being born, he said no but I sad yes, me me, can I please? No apparently, spoil sports.
Baby was pulled out - phew - what a release.
They lifted baby up over the sheet and big man said...
IT"S A BOY, A BOY!
I bawled, he bawled, baby screamed his fricking head off.
Special care nursery folks whipped him off to see if he was ok, he was fine, absolutely fine. THey brought him over and lauid him on y chest, he opened his eyes and stared at me. There was so much activity going on, people coming and going, tues going in and out, who know what was going on, all I knew was that my little boy was laying there looking deep into my eyes as if to say - what what what on earth is going on, where am I, what just happened, we were quite happy you and I? Oh well there you are and here I am and it's nice to see your face.
So different from last time when I didn't know what had happened or who this poor child was for about 2 days.
They finished me up, more jokes ensued, wow I feel empty - that's because we have your uterus on the table, ha ha - oh, well could you put it back in please, I think I might need it again. Will you circumsize him? No no no, you need as much meat down there as you can get - yes big man actually said this to a room full of women, I thought some of them would pee they laughed so hard.
Recovery has been painful, not as bad as last time, but I'm trying to stay ahead of the pain, keep the bowels empty and not give in to it. We came home yesterday, baby is a bit jaundiced, not feeding too great but we'll get there.
I have loads more thoughts and feelings, I'll get around to posting them at some stage, but the crux of the matter is to introduce you to my 2nd son:
Born Aug 3rd, 2007 at 7:57pm
8lbs 5oz, 21"
He is divine, his older brother is delighted and we are all home excited to begin our new adventure.