The big scan

Had the BIG scan yesterday, the one where you can find out the baby's gender and...













I can't tell you!

Ha ha, sorry, we were still (arguing) discussing our options when the time came so we decided that I would find out and Big man and little man would leave the room. So I know but they don't and I can't very well tell the internet if they don't know so sorry.

I'm glad I know but it's going to be difficult to keep it to myself for another 20+ weeks!

Baby is fine, big - no surprise there - measuring a week ahead as am I so due date is moved forward to August 7th. Placenta is in front which is why I haven't been feeling a whole lot of movement, I was a bit worried about that.

Had a midwife appointment afterwards, met a new midwife - well new to me - who I adored, she was fab, just how you want a midwife to be, big, friendly, competent, capable and no nonsense. She said the GD may not be a problem, I have to do the yummy sugar drink thing next week. And best of all she reiterated that I am an excellent candidate for a VBAC - yahooey!

Took little man to the dentist for his 1st ever appointment, was cute, no work done or anything, just a meet and greet kind of thing, he got a sticker.

And then little man and I went home and slept for the afternoon, I was wrecked, the scan wiped me out, took all of the tension away, I didn't realise how tense I was until I let it go, I had myself convinced there was something wrong with this baby - phew.

Happy New Year - 128bpm

Just a few days late!

Sorry for the break, Xmas and all that palava took me away from computers for a couple of weeks.

Didn't take me away from doctors sticking things into my private parts though, I'm way too familiar with the dildo cam - or probe or whatever they call it. Had another scan yesterday and there it was, in all it's glory, all .8" of it with it's little heart beating steadily at 128bpm.

I'm kind of in shock to be honest. I was bracing for the worst and hoping for the best as they say. It's starting to sink in now, I could actually have another child in a few months!

This pregnancy is very different so far, I'm an emotional wreck, wildly careening from rage to deep sadness in a matter of moments, it's weird. Night time is hell, can't sleep, am having horrible hallucenogenic dreams so I don't want to sleep, I can't get comfortable, I'm pissed off at everyone, it's not restful to say the least.

** TMI warning - move along if you don't want to read about poo **

I've gained about 5lbs which is probably more than I should have at this point so I'll have to watch myself a bit better. I think about 3lbs of that is poo to be honest. Sorry if tmi but pregnancy to me is all about poo. I suffer terribly from constipation, hemarroids, cramps and gas; I have IBS in real life so it just gets worse with pregnancy. This time I'm astounded at the
contents of the bowl. Last week I had a poo so huge it tore me, nice eh? Took forever to come out, to the point where I had actually started to panic a bit, thought I might have to give it some help and not sure what I would do really, luckily it made it's painful way out and I almost took a picture I was so shocked. I'm still sore from that one. It was followed a few minutes later by - no joke - another poo of about 18". Long poos I can deal with, big fat ones, no no no, they hurt man! And then I bleed and then I panic...with my history of IBS I'm pretty confident that bleeding is internal hemerroids, but when I'm pregnant, any blood "down there" freaks me out.

** OK poo talk over, carry on **

So other than the poo, everything else is pretty good, some fatigue, yes, but not as bad as I remember it last time, some nausea, yes, but again, not as bad.

Fingers crossed this all goes well, I've been torturing myself reading about other people's miscarriages at 9w and so on. I've read that your chances are low after you've seen a heartbeat so I'll concentrate on that for now.

Not looking good

Had an ultrasound today, nothing to be seen but tech assured me that it's early and not to be disheartened. Then the nurse from my docs office called to ask me to come in tomorrow for another blood test - hmm, not good I thought so I asked why.

Well, she said, your hcg level was only 79 which is low.

Oh right sez I, would have been good to know this on Tuesday when the doc called to tell me the test was positive.

I've googled my heart out and yes smoked 2 cigarettes, because I've been here before, the every 2nd day level tests hoping to see the numbers double only to have it all crap out in the end.

So I'm not feeling too good, in fact I'm feeling shite, I've had a sense of doom about this from the beginning but I've been convincing myself that it's just me being a nervous nelly.

Maybe it is, at this stage all that is left is hope.

If you're reading, send me some good vibes because I think I will lose my fucking mind if I have another miscarriage. It will make this pregnancy #4 with only 1 child to show for my troubles.

Oh well, have to break the news to the big man, he doesn't even know I went for a scan.

A girl??

Madame Zaritska's reading

Madame Zaritska, our resident clairvoyant, wants to help you prepare for the arrival of your child. Here she does her best to predict certain aspects of your labor and birth experience.

What she senses for you
The day you deliver, outside will be sunny. Your baby will arrive at night.

After a labor lasting approximately 11 hours, WHAT! your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have green eyes and be completely bald. Ah a little baldie!

But there is more. It is perfectly healthy and normal to want to look good, even during these interesting months! I sense you feel a little reluctant. Well, you're not being silly or shallow -- you're taking care of yourself. And I am happy that you are.

Well that's nice Madame, I remember doing this last time, wish I had kept it!

Am off to the doc this avo for a quick scan. Have been having bad pain in my right side so they want to rule out ectopic - don't think it is, am just a nervous nelly.

Am guessing it's just digestion issues, have been suffering with constipation the past few days, been trying to drown my enemy with Diet Coke - ha ha, yes people I know I should be drinking 10gallons of water each day, but I'm just not a water drinker, I'll have to improve I guess.

Day 5 off the smokes, man I hate quitting smoking, it's fucking hard, I don't care what Allen Carr says it is hard, this time I will not start smoking again, no way.