Little man and the baby

Found this excellent post so am sharing because sharing is good and makes little man "vewy pwoud o' you"

I do harbour deep concerns about little man's displacement when the baby comes, I had a difficult relationship with my next youngest sibling for a long time. I want to avoid as much of that resentment and anger as possible.

This is from Babytalkers.

First-Born Jealousy

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of the No-Cry Sleep Solution and Gentle Baby Care

Question: Our first-born is showing extreme jealousy towards the new baby. He’s obviously mad at us for disrupting the predictable flow of his life with this new challenger for our attention. How can we smooth things out?

Think about it: Before the baby entered your family, your toddler was told he’d have a wonderful little brother to play with, and how much fun it would be. Then the little brother is born and your toddler is thinking, “Are you kidding me? This squirming, red-faced baby that takes up all your time and attention is supposed to be FUN?” He then “plays” with the baby in the only ways he knows how. He plays catch. You yell at him for throwing toys at the baby. He plays hide-and-seek. You yell at him to get the blanket off the baby. He gives the kid a hug, and you admonish him to be more careful. Is it any wonder that your toddler is confused?

Teach: Your first goal is to protect the baby. Your second, to teach your older child how to interact with his new sibling in proper ways. You can teach your toddler how to play with the baby in the same way you teach him anything else. Talk to him, demonstrate, guide and encourage. Until you feel confident that you’ve achieved your second goal, however, do not leave the children alone together. Yes, I know. It isn’t convenient. But it is necessary, maybe even critical.

Hover: Whenever the children are together, “hover” close by. If you see your child about to get rough, pick up the baby and distract the older sibling with a song, a toy, an activity or a snack. This action protects the baby while helping you avoid a constant string of “Nos,” which may actually encourage the aggressive behavior.

Teach soft touches: Teach the older sibling how to give the baby a back rub. Tell how this kind of touching calms the baby, and praise the older child for a job well done. This lesson teaches the child how to be physical with the baby in a positive way.

Act quickly: Every time you see your child hit, or act roughly with the baby, act quickly. You might firmly announce, “No hitting, time out.” Place the child in a time-out chair with the statement, “You can get up when you can use your hands in the right way.” Allow him to get right up if he wants – as long as he is careful and gentle with the baby. This isn’t punishment, after all. It’s just helping him learn that rough actions aren’t going to be permitted.

Demonstrate: Children learn what they live. Your older child will be watching as you handle the baby and learning from your actions. You are your child’s most important teacher. You are demonstrating in everything you do, and your child will learn most from watching you.

Praise: Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positive comment. Make a big fuss about the important “older brother.” Hug and kiss your older child and tell him how proud you are.

Watch your words: Don’t blame everything on the baby. “We can’t go to the park; the baby’s sleeping.” “Be quiet, you’ll wake the baby.” “After I change the baby I’ll help you.” At this point, your child would just as soon sell the baby! Instead, use alternate reasons. “My hands are busy now.” “We’ll go after lunch.” “I’ll help you in three minutes.”

Be supportive: Acknowledge your child’s unspoken feelings, such as “Things sure have changed with the new baby here. It’s going to take us all some time to get used to this.” Keep your comments mild and general. Don’t say, “I bet you hate the new baby.” Instead, say, “It must be hard to have Mommy spending so much time with the baby.” or “I bet you wish we could go to the park now, and not have to wait for the baby to wake up.” When your child knows that you understand her feelings, she’ll have less need to act up to get your attention.

Give extra love: Increase your little demonstrations of love for your child. Say extra I love yous, increase your daily dose of hugs, and find time to read a book or play a game. Temporary regressions or behavior problems are normal, and can be eased with an extra dose of time and attention.

Get ‘em involved: Teach the older sibling how to be helpful with the baby or how to entertain the baby. Let the older sibling open the baby gifts and use the camera to take pictures of the baby. Teach him how to put the baby’s socks on. Let him sprinkle the powder. Praise and encourage whenever possible.

Making each feel special: Avoid comparing siblings, even about seemingly innocent topics such as birth weight, when each first crawled or walked, or who had more hair! Children can interpret these comments as criticisms.

Take a deep breath and be calm. This is a time of adjustment for everyone in the family. Reduce outside activities, relax your housekeeping standards, and focus on your current priority, adjusting to your new family size.

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Gestational Diabetes - a myth?

We went to the first of 2 VBAC classes this weekend.

I was a bit miffed because the instructor didn't really tell me anything I hadn't already read or learned and she couldn't answer any questions about hospital policy. She deflected all of those saying "you should ask your midwife" I have probably 10-15 minutes with my midwife every 2 weeks, I don't have the brain power to think of these questions when I'm sitting there trying not fall off the stupid table. The point of the class - or so I thought - was to have those questions answered, that's why I chose the one affiliated with the hospital fer fuxake! Yes I will call the hospital and tell them what I think.

In the instructors favour, she herself had a VBAC, kept the class size small and took time to talk to each one of us.

Anyway gripes aside, the class was useful for big man, got him thinking and concentrating on the impending arrival for 3 straight hours. We dropped little man off with his friend for a playdate, his first ever, so we had lunch afterwards and it was nice to just talk and connect with each other.

The instructor scared me a little by talking about the risks associated with induction and VBAC, so I've been googling. There's no guarantee I will be induced but my blood sugar levels are all over the place and it looks likely I will be on insulin by next week which does increase my chances of induction. Pitocin and VBAC is not a good mix, you're heavily monitored and probably in bed so the intervention train gets rolling.

One interesting article I found today is this one by Henci Goer which starts:

Gestational Diabetes: The Emperor Has No Clothes
by Henci Goer

Good medicine demands that diagnosis and treatment of any disease fulfill four criteria:

• The condition has to pose a health risk;
• Diagnosis must accurately distinguish between those who have the disease and those who don't;
• Treatment should be effective; and
• The benefits of diagnosis and treatment should outweigh the risks.

An entire medical industry has grown up around diagnosing and treating gestational diabetes (GD) in the belief that doing so prevents perinatal deaths, congenital anomalies, neonatal complications, macrosomic babies, and because of fetal macrosomia, birth injuries and excessive cesarean rates. However, diagnosis and treatment of gestational diabetes don't fulfill any of the above criteria.

Hmm...

It's a good read, if you've been diagnosed with GD you should probably print it out and highlight the relevant parts to bring to the discussion with your doc.

I am researching alternatives to pitocin for induction. Kendra beat me to the punch, she's a few weeks ahead of me so got here a while back.

I'm thinking a doula is a good plan so am off on the hunt for one that will fit in my budget of $0.

Your induction methods are welcome, medical and anecdotal, I'll give anything a go rather than be strapped to a bed with EFMs blood pressure cuffs, IVs etc... please comment....thanks!

Food for thought

Veggie Booty

Well shite on that!

I love Veggie Booty and so does little man.

Recalled: Veggie Booty snack food

FRIDAY, Jun 29 (BabyCenter News) — Robert's American Gourmet is recalling all of its Veggie Booty flavored snack foods in cooperation with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

The snacks may be contaminated with Salmonella, which can cause serious infections in young children, elderly people, and others with compromised immune systems. Salmonella can also cause diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain in otherwise healthy people.

There have been 52 reports of illness linked to Veggie Booty across 17 states, beginning in March 2007. Almost all the illnesses have occurred in children under 10, and most of these have been in toddlers. Many of the cases involved bloody diarrhea, and four people have been hospitalized.

The FDA learned of the illnesses on June 27 from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which conducted an investigation of the illnesses with state and local health officials. The outbreak is considered likely to be ongoing.

Veggie Booty is sold in a flexible plastic foil bag in 4-ounce, 1-ounce, and 0.5-ounce packages.

No other flavors or varieties of snack food marketed by Robert's American Gourmet have been associated with Salmonella contamination.

The snack was sold in retail locations in all 50 states and Canada, and also over the Internet.

-- Katie Motta, BabyCenter News